my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
