And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
