Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
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Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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