mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
