Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
