I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize