Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize