You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
