Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dignity is for republicans.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
