I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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