every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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