you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
