oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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