I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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