why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize