hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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