we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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