dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
