no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
