New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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