You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
