I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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