normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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