I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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