but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
