dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
