Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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