Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
