My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
