Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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