I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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