Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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