i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
