i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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