Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you win again, gameday.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
