If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
