where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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