Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
