I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was like eating out sand paper
is wine microwaveable?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
