don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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