I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
