FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015