ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown