He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
