I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
