Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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