put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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