this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
