It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
