Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
