Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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