I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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