I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
