Sry I called you an 8
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
