If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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