i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
