my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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