i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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