i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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