you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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