pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
